If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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