dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
