Just mADE A PArabola og urine
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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