It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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