Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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