the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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