There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
