There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
