Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
