Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
