i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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