I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize