She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
