I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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