I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
