I need help removing her.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
