Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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