Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He did a backflip because drugs
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