So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
