pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
