similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
