Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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