is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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