found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
