that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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