Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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