I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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