hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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