i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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