Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
