There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
