what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize