I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
