How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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