I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
