do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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