He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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