I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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