Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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