I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
as a side note pls kill me
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