so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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