the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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