why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My penis needs a shock collar
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
