Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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