So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize