We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
