I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
