hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
