If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ugly people sure do ruin things
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
