u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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