She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
