i just wanna soil my oats bro
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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