Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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