if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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