I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize