meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
