8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
