So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
