how can u be prego again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think i got beer on your cat.
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