Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pants are for mortals
I'm too high and old for this...
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