I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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