My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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