I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
