I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
