Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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