After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
