alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
