1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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